Sketch Script - Promises

Sketch Script - Promises

Jiles:

By the way, we’re going ahead with the campaign tax promise.


Minister:

I thought we scrapped it?


Jiles:

We did. But people got angry. So it’s back.


Minister:

But it’s completely undeliverable.


Jiles:

Yes, but it sounds good.


Minister:

It sounds…? I’m sorry. We can’t promise people that we’re going to deliver on this.


Jiles:

Why not?


Minister:

Because we can’t. No one can.


Jiles:

True. But that doesn’t really matter. Does it?


Minister:

I’m sor… I think I’m a bit confused. Why would we promise something that we can’t deliver?


Jiles:

… because it’s what people want to hear.


Minister:

Yes, but it’s not true. We won’t be able to give it to them. And when we don’t, then what?


Jiles:

Oh don’t worry about that. No one will hold the party accountable.


Minister:

Even if they don’t - what about me?


Jiles:

Well they might hold you accountable, but realistically all we need to do is blame the other party for creating road blocks and then problem solved. Do it right and they’ll blame the opposition enough that it wins us two elections.


Minister:

Right. So, let me just check we’re on the same page here. You want me to go on the radio and promise something that is completely undeliverable - but hope that people are stupid enough to buy into it because it sounds good? And then if we get elected and are unable to deliver on it, then we just say it’s the other party’s fault and double down on the fake promise?


Jiles:

The Boris Johnson method, yes. But it would work if we weren’t elected too. Because we can spend the next few years blaming the opposition for high taxes.


Minister:

Even though we’d probably do the same?


Jiles:

Yes, but the people don’t know that.


Minister:

Isn’t there a sense of being “too good to be true”.


Jiles:

Well, there is - but it doesn’t apply in politics. People just want something to feel self-righteous about. We give it to them. And in turn, they give us power.


Minister:

But we don’t actually give them what we tell them that we’ll give them?


Jiles:

God no, can you imagine?


Sketch Script - Sleight of hand

Sketch Script - Sleight of hand

Sketch Script - Intern books the train tickets

Sketch Script - Intern books the train tickets